Mistake
by kcatlin
Summary: WARNING: VERY DARK and ANGSTY
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: own nothin'

WARNING: VERY DARK ANGSTY

A/N: based a on prompt from 15minuteficlets on yahoogroups 'So, here's the challenge - take a character that you truly, honestly love and show them doing something wrong or doing something for the wrong reason.'

She woke and had no idea where she was. She was naked, her body hurt like hell, and she had a huge hangover. She rolled over in the unfamiliar bed and saw a man who she had never seen before passed out naked. She felt dirty, very dirty.

Holding back the urge to vomit and cry all at the same time, she gathered her clothing as quietly as she could, and made her way into the dump of a bathroom. The stench made her alcohol sensitive stomach want to come up but she fought it back down again.

She looked in the mirror and was ashamed at what she saw looking back at her. She had a huge hickey on the side of her neck that she knew she would not be able to cover up with makeup. Her makeup and mascara was streaked from the sweat and alcohol oozing out of her pores. She had vicious bite and scratch marks all over her body. She could still feel the semen sticking between her thighs.

_Oh Jesus, that means we didn't use a condom!_ She gasped at the realization, the tears that threatened to fall finally spilling over. She had to get out of here. She pulled on her clothes as quick as she could, scrubbed her face and ran for the door.

"Where do ya think you're going, Miss Monroe?" she heard a voice come from behind her.

"I ugh, I've got to get to work," she gasped out as fast as she could, then turned on her heel and walked out the door, trying to determine where she was.

After realizing the direction she had to go to get home, she got there as fast as she could. She went upstairs took a shower, scrubbing her body as clean as she could, trying to scrub away the lingering memories of another man besides Danny touching her, showing her the affection he hadn't shown in months. Her mind was to muddle from all the alcohol to tell him no, that she didn't want too.

She pulled on a turtleneck to hide the hickey, and long sleeve jacket to hide the marks on her arms. She robotically went to work, hoping she would be stuck on paperwork duty, but to no avail.

"Ya alright there Monroe?" Flack asked as he led her out to the car to go talk to a suspect.

She just nodded her head in agreement, bowing her head.

He didn't believe her but who was he to say anything?

"Well, Miss Monroe," she heard the voice again; she looked up to see the guy from her indiscretion.

"What, ah, what…" she stuttered out.

Flack noticing her uneasiness "Is there somethin' I could help ya with buddy?" he intervened.

"Just returning somethin' the little lady left behind last night," the guy said arrogantly casual, holding up a pair of Lindsay's things between his fingers.

She was mortified, she couldn't breathe, the world began to spin, and then it went black.

"Montana!" she heard Danny's voice. "Montana, baby open up your eyes for me."

"Danny?" She opened her eyes to see him leaning over her holding her hand, as she was being pushed into an ambulance.

"I'm so sorry," she gasped as she began crying, "I didn't mean too."

"Its okay baby," he soothed, kissing her forehead, "Well get through whatever happened."

He didn't know exactly what happened, but he knew she was acting weird all day, he knew he had been turning her away for months, he knew Flack called him just before she passed out and that Flack threw the phone catching her. He knew when he got down stairs he wanted to beat the shit out of the son of a bitch who was standing over her leering at her, prominently showing her underwear to the world. He knew that when he pulled her turtleneck back she had a huge hickey on her neck and the guy holding her underwear looked awfully damn proud of himself. After checking her pulse, he walked over to the guy, grabbed him around his neck and told him to forget whatever happened, and to never come near her again, until Mac and Flack pulled him off the guy.

"Danny," she gasped out, "I don't think we, uh, we used a condom."

He closed his eyes for a minute, 'you helped this happen, you are gonna help her through it.'

"I love you Montana," he whispered, kissing her forehead again, pulling her into him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Det. Monroe?" the doctor walked into the examination bay.

"Yeah," she said softly, her hand firmly in Danny's.

They hadn't said anything to each other. She didn't know what to say. He didn't know if he wanted to know what happened, and figured when she was ready to talk about it, he would be there ready to listen to her story, no matter how much he wanted to hurt somebody.

The doctor held her hand out to shake Lindsay's hand, then Danny's, "Mr.?" she asked

"Det. Messer," he said, "Det. Monroe's boyfriend," he replied pointedly, giving Lindsay a reassuring smile.

Lindsay muffled a sob; it had been weeks since she actually thought of him as her boyfriend. He had been so distant, never returning her phone calls, placed himself on an opposite shift just to avoid her. She never found out why. Until just a few minutes ago. He had never told her he loved her before.

"What are we seeing you for today, Det.?"

"I passed out at work," she explained, "I think I might be dehydrated."

"Why's that?"

"I uh," she began then looked at Danny hesitantly, he picked up her hand and kissed it, "I haven't been eating very well, and last night I went out to a bar and got really drunk," She said trying to hold back the tears.

"Is that all?"

She shook her head no, and took a few deep breaths, closing her eyes.

"You want me to leave?" Danny offered softly, he knew this must be hard for her, but he wanted her to know he was there still.

She shook her head no again, 'Like a band aid right?' "I had sex with someone I have never met before," she said with her eyes closed so she didn't have to look at Danny. But she felt him squeeze her hand involuntarily. She didn't know if it was for reassurance or because he was angry.

The doctor looked at Danny almost to check his reaction, maybe to make sure he wasn't going to get violent or something, to her surprise he just hugged her.

"I meant it Montana, I love you," he said tears in his eyes, "You got that? I ain't doin' that to ya again." He kissed her forehead, gently running his thumb across the fresh bruise on her neck. If he had been a man and just owned up to his feelings in the first place, instead of pretending like he didn't feel anything for her, she wouldn't have gone out by herself. Yes she was a grown woman, but she was HIS woman, and he should have been there.

"Did you use protection?"

She shook her head no.

"Are you on birth control?"

"Diaphragm, but I didn't have it with me," Lindsay explained, sullenly.

"Any chance you are pregnant already?"

She looked at Danny, "My cycle ended last week," and she could swear she saw a light die in Danny's eyes. _Did he want to have a baby with me?_

"Okay then, I'm going to have an IV drip started to get your body rehydrated. I'm also going to order a round of tests for sexually transmitted diseases. I'm also ordering the 'morning after pill', which is just a high dose of estrogen," the doctor explained. She turned to leave, "Det. please take care of her," she said before she left.

"I will," Danny promised.


	3. Chapter 3

"Montana," he said softly as he stroked her hair as she laid her head against his arm, the IV drip still in her arm.

"Yeah," she sighed, still feeling a little woozy from last night. Her mind still vague on all the details.

"I need you to tell me where you met this guy," he said calmly.

She inhaled sharply, fear shooting through her, "Why?" she asked softly.

"I'm not gonna hurt him," he assured, 'As much as I wanna rip his fucking throat out.' "But he found you once, and I wanna make sure he doesn't find you again."

"I wanted to not feel anything. I wanted to have a good time. You ignored me and acted like you didn't care anymore. And you wouldn't tell me why. What I had done wrong. You even changed shifts just to get away from me," she tried moving her head away from him, but he placed his hand on her face so she had to keep looking at him.

"You didn't do anything wrong baby, it was me. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I've never needed anyone as badly as I need you. I was an ass; I pushed you away because I realized I was in love with you. I've never loved anyone before, besides my family," he paused as she looked up at him through her tear filled eyes and face, he ran his hand over her face and down her neck, across her bruise again.

She flinched, and tried shrugging away from him, "You're beautiful," he assured her softly, smiling his Messer smile, "You're my beautiful Montana. I love you, and I'm gonna tell you everyday how much," he assured her, pulling her into him again.

But she pushed him away, "You ignored me because you love me?" she asked suddenly getting angry.

He looked at her shocked, and he didn't know what to say, "Montana, baby, I'm 34 years old and I have never been in love before."

"You made me feel like garbage because you love me?" she asked again.

"I know it was stupid, but yeah," he admitted, ducking his head knowing how he hurt her.

"You don't get to do that again," she said finally, "I love you too, you know."

"I know," he said smiling softly at her.

"I told him I was a cop," she said softly, "That's probably how he found me."

"I'm sorry he humiliated you like that," he said softly; the guys face firmly etched in his mind just in case.

"It's okay."

"No it's not, I've had my share of drunken one night stands, and I was never a dick like that," he said his anger almost over taking him, "You sure you won't tell me where you meet him, just so we can have a discussion about manners?"

"Danny," she warned.

"What? I've got to protect mine," he said, looking down at her kissing, her head.

"Just love me," she said softly, cuddling into his arms.

"I do."


	4. Chapter 4

A few nights later, as they lay in Danny's bed, Danny spooning her body his arm wrapped securely around her holding her tight against him.

Her mind began wandering back to that night. The stench of liquor stuck in her mind as if she was it was happening again. An image of the guy popped into her head, his slimy smile, his greasy hair, his cheap cologne. Then she was willingly kissing him, her mind muddled from the alcohol. His hands all over her body, his nails raking across her skin, pulling her hair. Her clothing coming off, then his clothing. Then he was in her, slamming into her harder than she was used to, or it seemed that way anyway. There was nothing gently about it, nothing caring or loving.

"Montana," Danny said softly, as he felt her shaking. "Come back to me. Don't go there." Over the past couple of days he caught her drifting off to that night. If her mind sat idle for too long, without anything to focus on. If he could take everything that happened between them back, he would. If he could have just let her know early how he truly felt about her, none of this would have happened. But now it was his job to let her know.

She wasn't like him. She wasn't the 'have a one-nighter and move on' person, she was the 'making love to one person for the rest of your life' person. And he loved that about her and planned on being that one person she made love to for the rest of her life. And she needed to know she wasn't dirty or damaged just by having meaningless sex with someone.

"How could I have done that? How could you still want me?" she sobbed softly.

He tightened his arm around her and pushed her hair back away from her neck, "You didn't do anything wrong," he assured her softly, "Yes I hate that another man touched you, and made you feel this way. But I made you feel like you didn't matter, because I couldn't tell you the truth."

"Can you make me forget?"

"I'm gonna try," he promised. 

"Please," she begged softly.

"Are you sure?"

She sobbed and nodded her head yes.

Pushing her hair back he gently nipped at her flesh, sucking lightly over the prominent bruise. His mind began having flashes of another man doing this to her, over her not being able to say no. Pushing them to the back of his mind, he gently rolled her over.

He saw the tears in her eyes and the streaks on her face. Cupping her face in his hands, he gently pushed the tears away.

"I love you, Lindsay Monroe. I want to love you for the rest of your life," he said softly, before he kissed her cheeks then her lips.

She shut her eyes as new tears escaped, letting the feeling of this kind gentle man, who loved and adored her, push back the memories. Letting the smell of his cologne, clear her mind. The feel of his familiar goatee, tongue and mouth, push away all the imagines that plagued her. Letting his gentle caresses and tender stroking calm her mind.

"Make love to me Danny," she gasped before she realized it.

"Tell me if ya want me to stop," he said, and then gentle pushed into her.

She gasped at the sensation then wrapped her legs around his waist. The caring and gentleness soothing her soul, making her feel whole again.

After she lay almost completely on top of him, his arm tightly wrapped around her waist.

"Are you okay?" he asked, running his free hand up and down her arm.

"Thank you," she said softly, kissing his chest.

"You never have to thank me for making love to you."

She laughed softly and gently slapped his chest, "You know what I mean."

"I'm yours, never forget that Montana."

The end

A/N: Angsty! Lindsay has not become a friend of mine, I promise. I just get this thing in my head and sometimes I just can't get it to go away. I hope this is it! LOL and I hope I have done justice to the sensitive topics I have unknowingly stumbled into, in the last couple of stories.


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